This is a painting of a rattle that has been passed down through my family. It is marked with generations of toddlers' tooth marks, probably including mine. It was in a box labelled 'Indian Toys' in my parents' loft, along with other painted wooden play things. There is a strong sense security and innocence associated with an object which has been part of so many happy playtimes, and which has been treasured for generations to come. However, it also speaks of my white British family's colonial history: the violent oppression that facilitates white mothers looking at their white babies playing with Indian toys. I did this painting to try to understand how to hold in my head two conflicting truths: the security and love that this object represents, alongside the violence and oppression that paid for that security.